http://www.buzzfeed.com/ellievhall/x-men-actress-finds-creepy-childrens-book-in-her-bedroom?sub=2526695_1513829
Friday 16 August 2013
Wednesday 7 August 2013
Undertow
''Your brown eyes are my blue skies
They light up the rivers that the birds fly over
Better not to quench your thirst
Better not to be the first one diving in
Though you caught me and you know why
You breathe in the deepest part of the water..''
Tuesday 6 August 2013
Exiting the Comfort Zone
So, at my kickboxing class tonight, we practised a few self-defense moves. I've probably blogged about this before, but bizarrely, self-defense always makes me super nervous. This is ironic because unfortunately there have been occasions in the past when knowing self-defense would have been REALLY USEFUL. I can only hope I have completed my quota and I won't ever need to use it.
Self-defense takes me out of my comfort zone, because I then have to think about a. the possibility of being attacked and b. what I would do about that. I don't like to think about this. Because I don't think about it hypothetically.
It's amazing how much I've come out of my comfort zone this year... and kickboxing has something to do with it. I'm always slightly amazed at what I can do now, compared to say, last year. Sure, I'm definitely not as fit as some of the crew that I train with, but you know, if someone had told me that I'd be keeping up with that kind of intense work out several years ago, I'd have laughed and had another biscuit.
ANYWAY - I digress - so just as we were doing this segment on self-defense, one of our instructors was talking about the difference between anger and aggression, which I think is really interesting. It got me thinking about how people deal with this. Aggression is an interesting concept. I think lots of guys like to pull this one out of the bag for show, but anger is something else altogether - aggression is the rehearsal for anger. It's almost an act, isn't it? Who hasn't seen a group of lads falling out of a pub on a Saturday night and picking on each other like kids in the play-ground. No-one knows each other, so no-one wants to back down. Anger/Rage are a different ball-game. I've been on the receiving end of proper full-blown rage before, and it's like industrial strength, corrosive anger. I've also felt that - so furious that the fist must go through the wall. The last time I felt rage, I punched a solid wooden fire door and didn't feel anything. I scarred my knuckles. Anger has passion and emotion behind it, which is not to be trifled with. This is why self-defense scares me... it's defense against someone who is very angry and who wants to hurt you. It's not a game.
And then I was thinking about self-defense generally. I honestly believe that the concept of stranger-danger is horribly damaging. Sure - don't trust strangers, that's probably a good idea... but we all got so side-tracked by the bogey man wearing the trench-coat, that we forgot to look at the people we know best. I mean - 59% of violent crime is committed by someone you know. The actual chance of you being singled out by a stranger is fairly low compared to you being assaulted by your partner- or even worse. Around 100 women are murdered in the UK by their current or ex-partner. And if you're not assaulted or murdered, chances are you might be a victim of rape.
Alas, I know a LOT of people that have experienced domestic violence. I have a serious issue with this kind of thing - it gets me up on my box ranting (like now). I realise how I must sound... but you know? More people need to talk about this. It doesn't get talked about enough.
Then, if you think about it - how often do we not trust our instincts? Our instructor mentioned personal space. I know that this has happened to me - someone gets in your personal space, you step away, they step up, you step away and they keep coming - you do nothing. You stand there, or try and talk, reason with said person. How many people are hurt by the failure to act, even when they know their instincts are correct? Maybe it's just me - but I think that there have been times when I have on a guttural level known that something was horribly wrong but not reacted until it was too late. Only afterwards I've wondered why I didn't do anything.
I suppose I'm trying to say - from a female point of view - I would encourage other women to learn kickboxing, or self-defense - whatever takes your fancy. There are tonnes of reasons why - and not just the ones above. There are way nicer reasons. I initially started because a. I'm fat and b. I wanted to make friends. But I'm finding more and more reasons that I'm glad that I do it - and not just for the physical benefits.
If you have any doubts, look at this cool picture of me kickboxing. This is way better than knitting.
Self-defense takes me out of my comfort zone, because I then have to think about a. the possibility of being attacked and b. what I would do about that. I don't like to think about this. Because I don't think about it hypothetically.
It's amazing how much I've come out of my comfort zone this year... and kickboxing has something to do with it. I'm always slightly amazed at what I can do now, compared to say, last year. Sure, I'm definitely not as fit as some of the crew that I train with, but you know, if someone had told me that I'd be keeping up with that kind of intense work out several years ago, I'd have laughed and had another biscuit.
ANYWAY - I digress - so just as we were doing this segment on self-defense, one of our instructors was talking about the difference between anger and aggression, which I think is really interesting. It got me thinking about how people deal with this. Aggression is an interesting concept. I think lots of guys like to pull this one out of the bag for show, but anger is something else altogether - aggression is the rehearsal for anger. It's almost an act, isn't it? Who hasn't seen a group of lads falling out of a pub on a Saturday night and picking on each other like kids in the play-ground. No-one knows each other, so no-one wants to back down. Anger/Rage are a different ball-game. I've been on the receiving end of proper full-blown rage before, and it's like industrial strength, corrosive anger. I've also felt that - so furious that the fist must go through the wall. The last time I felt rage, I punched a solid wooden fire door and didn't feel anything. I scarred my knuckles. Anger has passion and emotion behind it, which is not to be trifled with. This is why self-defense scares me... it's defense against someone who is very angry and who wants to hurt you. It's not a game.
And then I was thinking about self-defense generally. I honestly believe that the concept of stranger-danger is horribly damaging. Sure - don't trust strangers, that's probably a good idea... but we all got so side-tracked by the bogey man wearing the trench-coat, that we forgot to look at the people we know best. I mean - 59% of violent crime is committed by someone you know. The actual chance of you being singled out by a stranger is fairly low compared to you being assaulted by your partner- or even worse. Around 100 women are murdered in the UK by their current or ex-partner. And if you're not assaulted or murdered, chances are you might be a victim of rape.
Alas, I know a LOT of people that have experienced domestic violence. I have a serious issue with this kind of thing - it gets me up on my box ranting (like now). I realise how I must sound... but you know? More people need to talk about this. It doesn't get talked about enough.
Then, if you think about it - how often do we not trust our instincts? Our instructor mentioned personal space. I know that this has happened to me - someone gets in your personal space, you step away, they step up, you step away and they keep coming - you do nothing. You stand there, or try and talk, reason with said person. How many people are hurt by the failure to act, even when they know their instincts are correct? Maybe it's just me - but I think that there have been times when I have on a guttural level known that something was horribly wrong but not reacted until it was too late. Only afterwards I've wondered why I didn't do anything.
I suppose I'm trying to say - from a female point of view - I would encourage other women to learn kickboxing, or self-defense - whatever takes your fancy. There are tonnes of reasons why - and not just the ones above. There are way nicer reasons. I initially started because a. I'm fat and b. I wanted to make friends. But I'm finding more and more reasons that I'm glad that I do it - and not just for the physical benefits.
If you have any doubts, look at this cool picture of me kickboxing. This is way better than knitting.
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